damianMuck-up day: are your kids out of control?
October 21st 2008 12:43
The normally quiet streets of suburban Kew in leafy inner Melbourne have this week become the latest battlefield in the ongoing war between out-of-control teenagers and the stabilising forces of conservative Australian society. In what can only be described as vandalism of the highest order, and a deliberate provocation of ordinary, law-abiding citizens, these teenage students from the prestigious Xavier College carried out a campaign of violent intimidation as shocked nearby residents looked on in fear.
One elderly resident, who asked to be known only as 'Mrs B' described the chaotic scene.
Mrs B was one of the lucky ones; her roses escaped the wrath of the mob, but others were not so lucky. "They've gone and ripped up my prize-winning azalias" wailed one distressed resident who didn't want to be named. "I tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't listen. They had clearly all been drinking and i think some of them were on drugs. It's about time someone put a stop to this disgraceful behaviour!"
For their part, the students involved were unrepentant. One boy, who gave his name as 'Timmy' expressed his wholehearted satisfaction with the week's events. Speaking in sms shorthand, he outlined the reasons behind the students' violent rampage as best he could in 160 characters. "We gt brd of class jst gets 2 u lrnin same shit 4whole yr so we fckd sum shit up4 larfs it was gr8! Ha ha rotflmfao!"
The boy's explanation made no sense at all, so I got a youth social worker to translate. She told me that these boys were victims of class expectations and their $20 000 a year education had robbed them of their opportunities. While kids in lower socio-economic areas were free to be plumbers, brickies or adult movie stars if they so desired, these supposedly 'priveliged' students were shoehorned into becoming doctors, lawyers or accountants. This stifling and inflexible educational system inevitably caused the boys to rebel in pursuit of the freedoms so readily granted their 'poor' government school contemporaries.
Local opinion, however, took a decidedly different view as to the best way of dealing with these rowdy rapscallions. Some advocated bringing back the strap, others the in-house system of peer-enforced discipline of the type seen a few years back at a similarly prestigious Sydney boarding school. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one local resident blamed the eradication of sexual bastardisation of younger boys by the older boarders for an increase in anti-social behaviour. "Before the young lads had an outlet for all this pent-up energy" he claimed. "Now they have no option but to indulge in this sort of activity"
Whatever the reasons behind the behaviour, muck up day has certainly changed since the days when graduating students simply let down the tyres of the teachers cars and sacrificed a couple of chickens on the school oval. "It was just a bit of harmless fun back in my day" said one witness. "Now things are just out of control"
The school has acted quickly to control the damage and suspended its entire year 12 class for the rest of the school year, apparently ignorant of the fact that muck-up day occurs on the last day of classes anyway. Unfortunately for those Kew residents who have spent the week in the foetal position on the floor of their wine cellars, it is little consolation for being held prisoner in their own homes.
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