Urban Telegraph - Where Aussie Culture Gets Urbanised

Want to know how well Aussie culture is doing at the moment? Want to know some interesting things about our past? Think Aussie culture needs to start updating itself for a more relevant future? Then this is the place for you. Welcome to The Urban Telegraph.

[ April 2009 ] [ June 2009 ]

Urban Telegraph - May 2009

Swan: "Prepare for budget pain!"

May 13th 2009 03:02

the most popular man in australia?

The federal treasurer, Wayne Swan, has confirmed the worst fears of many commentators when he announced during his budget speech that, so bad was the current economic climate, that the nation could no longer afford to have a treasurer.

"My wage is now beyond the modest reach of the tax income that we can expect from Australian working families", he said. "More to the point, as less and less Australian families are 'working' in the first place, my situation is becoming increasingly untenable, as I can hardly pitch my budget to 'centrelink families', can i?"

Swan continued to say that given the scarcity of funds, the only option was to have a reality TV show where each week, as well as aiming to lose the most kilograms, contestants would also compete to manage the national budget in the most fiscally responsible manner.

While details of the constestants identities were a closely guarded secret, celebrity chef Ian Hewitson was rumoured to be amongst the prospective candidates. Past contestants from the show 'ready, steady, cook' were apparently also being sought by Swan for their proven expertise in planning to a budget.

Opposition MP's were generally sceptical of the hair-brained scheme, although Malcolm Turnbull did give it a favourable review in his TV Week column.

"If Mr Swan has correctly summed up the mood of the nation, this show could be a ratings winner", wrote Turnbull. "It would also be interesting to see what Hewitson could cook for the average family with the limited range of ingredients provided, as cooking on a small budget has always been a particular interest of mine"

The budget will continue to be displayed in a glass case alongside the former Tasmanian independant MP, Brian Harradine, for the remainder of the week. Recipe suggestions for the show can be sent by carrier pigeon directly to parliament house in Canberra, as Mr Swan no longer employs anyone to read his emails.