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Urban Telegraph - Where Aussie Culture Gets Urbanised

 
Want to know how well Aussie culture is doing at the moment? Want to know some interesting things about our past? Think Aussie culture needs to start updating itself for a more relevant future? Then this is the place for you. Welcome to The Urban Telegraph.

Urban Telegraph - August 2009

One of the terror suspects arrested in pre-dawn raids across Melbourne yesterday has spoken of his regret at trusting vital information about the alleged plot he received from Godwin Grech, the public servant at the centre of the 'utegate' affair.

"I should have known his politics was suspect from the start", the accused said in a faked email which Malcolm Turnbull later read to his kids as a bedtime story. "Godwin assured me that our cause would receive favourable treatment, but it seems the whole thing was as fake as the moon landing!"

Central to the accused's accusations was Grech's promise to secure a ute to be used in the attack, provided it could be adorned with Liberal Party advertising. Initially he wanted the debt truck, but that was unavailable as it had been sold to Japan to relieve foreign debt, and a deal had not yet been reached to secure it's lease back.


The story did not end there however, as former US President Bill Clinton visited Grech and posed for a series of photos which were later photoshopped to make Grech look like Kim-Jong Il. In return for this, Grech secured a favourable deal on a rental car for Mr Clinton, who didn't like taking his chances in a tough rental car market.

The terror suspect will be sentenced in due course.

Mr Grech has already been sentenced by Mr Turnbull to a 5 year term as Liberal Party scapegoat.

Mr Turnbull was half way through a sentence when he realised he couldn't trust himself to finish it without looking back at the fake email from which it was taken.
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