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Want to know how well Aussie culture is doing at the moment? Want to know some interesting things about our past? Think Aussie culture needs to start updating itself for a more relevant future? Then this is the place for you. Welcome to The Urban Telegraph.

Obama breaks silence on Oprah's battle of bulge

February 3rd 2009 02:37
US President Barack Obama has finally broken his silence on one of the most pressing issues of our time: Oprah Winfrey's battle to shed her extra weight.

In a revealing late-night phonecall, Obama spoke to Winfrey at length about her problems and then had an equally lengthy conversation with Winfrey's best friend, bitching about Oprah and questioning her inability to "just get over herself".

The phonecall followed months of speculation about what Obama's response might be to Winfrey's repeated demands that he stop focusing on the Israel-Palestine conflict and devote more attention to issues that mattered to everyday Americans, such as her weight.


During the phonecall, much attention centred on Michelle Obama and there was some speculation over exactly who had designed her nightgown, before a panel of experts brought together specifically for the occasion decided that the gown had been co-designed by an Israeli fashion designer and a Palestinian milkman.

Not everyone was happy to see the generous and caring side of Obama's nature, however. Dick Cheney's former best friend was heard complaining to one media source that he never received this sort of compassionate treatment from anyone in the White House following his hunting accident. This comment prompted Cheney to reply that for all the trouble the incident had caused he might as well have finished the job.

W'hite supremacist groups across the U.S. were also outraged, claiming the millions of overwight or obese white Americans were now a forgotten majority in the country of their own birth.

Ever the peacemaker though, Obama played down the incident, reminding the obese white American voting public that he once worked for the late Australian cleaning mogul 'Big' Kev.
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2 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Megan Byrne

February 3rd 2009 02:51
You quack me up...

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