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Peter Costello Bares All - an exclusive interview

September 14th 2008 12:35
costello flasher



Damian: Peter, thanks for talking to me.

Peter: Just to get this straight, if I do this interview you’ll move your tent from my front lawn and stop using my morning papers as firewood?

Damian: Consider it a deal. Now I know there’s been a lot of speculation in the media recently about whether you still harbour ambitions to lead the Liberal party. Without wanting to flog a dead horse too much, can you just confirm exactly where you stand on that issue?


P: Well as it happens, when little Johnny was PM, I saw a number of horses flogged that were already very much deceased.After the sedition laws were passed, you should have seen it. ASIO was full of these dead horses, just waiting to be flogged. You see, the CIA had this theory that Osama Bin Laden was actually in Australia disguised as a horse, and little Johnny was determined to prove his national security credentials by exposing him.

D: I see, but you haven’t quite answered my question about leadership.

P: Oh yes, well let me say that I categorically reserve the right not to rule out the possibility that I will never be leader of the Liberal party.

D: You can’t be absolutely certain though?

P: When I wrote the book I was certain.

D: And what about now?

P: Can’t remember, to be honest. It’s that long since I wrote the bloody thing.

D: You can’t remember?

P: Well I can’t remember everything, can I? After all, I figured it wasn’t important that I remember it since it’s written down in the book.


D: But what if you change your mind before the book gets released?

P: I never change my mind, it’s bad policy. Anyway, I make a point of always forgetting these things in case I have to change my policy later on.

D: I thought you just said you never changed your mind? Doesn’t changing a policy effectively constitute changing your mind?

P: Not at all, in politics you always have to reserve the right to alter your policy according to the particular situation at the time.

D: So you could therefore challenge for the leadership if the particular situation at the time dictated that to be the best course of action?

P: Well I’ve just checked the book and it’s pretty categorical in its denial of any intention in that regard.

D: But what about now, is the situation any different from when you wrote the book?

P: Mate, it’s here in the book in black and white. I, Peter Costello, have no intention of challenging for the Liberal leadership.

D: So why are you staying on in parliament if you’ve made it clear that you want to leave and you don’t want to lead the party?

P: I have said categorically that I have no intention of running for the leadership. It says so in the book. However if the situation changes subsequent to the book’s publication, I reserve the right to alter my decision to reflect the circumstances at the time.

D: Peter, thanks. It’s been very insightful.

P: It has? But… I mean, you’ll still buy the book, won’t you?
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Comments
1 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Norm

September 14th 2008 21:45
I hope a sportsman has done the foreword to return the favours. Maybe an intro by Steve Waugh or Simmo. Nah, they'd be unsympathetic. I know, Dean Jones. I'll never forget that double century Costello scored in Madras. He lost 7 kilos, did you know?

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