damianwedding bliss, or something amiss? (part 2)
July 23rd 2008 02:16
And so it was that poor Mr Smith resigned himself to a life of flower arrangement, but his legacy was to live on as wedding arrangements became increasingly extravagant and complex (though the concept of giving half a cow was soon replaced by the now traditional engagement ring!).
As the glitz and glamour of weddings increased, so too did the associated cost as couples tried to outdo one another. First the wedding cake was introduced, but soon your standard cake was considered somewhat passe and the two-tiered cake was introduced. Before long some weddings came complete with cakes three stories high, with strippers jumping out left, right and centre! Next came the introduction of the official wedding photographs, which saw couples engaging in fierce bidding wars to secure the services of the best photographer. Yet not only must you have the best photographer, you must be seen to have the best photographer. So couples began hiring photographers to take photos of the photographer taking photos of them.
Sounds complicated? Well that's not even the worst of it!
Then there's the reception... Of course, the guests must remember your wedding above all others, so everything must be in perfect order. The tables must have have not one, but two perfectly manicured shrubberies in the centre, with one slightly higher than the other so you get a two-level effect and a little path running down the middle. The food must be unique and of the highest quality, even if that means you have to trek three weeks through the Swiss Alps, surviving on one slice of bread and half a glass of water per day, to find organically produced truffles discovered by pigs that have been hand-reared since birth and fed only the finest mediterranean lobster so that their sense of smell is not in any way impeded.
Not only are these pigs blessed with an exceptional sense of smell however, they also possess an IQ well above the average human as a result of doing the Sunday Times crossword each week. This ensures that the truffles are farmed in a sustainable way, lest your friends doubt the 'green' credentials of your wedding.
Soon the costs of getting married had skyrocketed to the point where many couples had little option other than to sell their illegitimate children off for medical experiments, or contribute an edition to the popular 'honeymooners' series of adult videos to recover some of the money spent on the wedding.
... tomorrow, in the final installment of this post, find out how you can have an original and memorable wedding that doesn't have to break the bank!
Sounds complicated? Well that's not even the worst of it!
Then there's the reception... Of course, the guests must remember your wedding above all others, so everything must be in perfect order. The tables must have have not one, but two perfectly manicured shrubberies in the centre, with one slightly higher than the other so you get a two-level effect and a little path running down the middle. The food must be unique and of the highest quality, even if that means you have to trek three weeks through the Swiss Alps, surviving on one slice of bread and half a glass of water per day, to find organically produced truffles discovered by pigs that have been hand-reared since birth and fed only the finest mediterranean lobster so that their sense of smell is not in any way impeded.
Not only are these pigs blessed with an exceptional sense of smell however, they also possess an IQ well above the average human as a result of doing the Sunday Times crossword each week. This ensures that the truffles are farmed in a sustainable way, lest your friends doubt the 'green' credentials of your wedding.
Soon the costs of getting married had skyrocketed to the point where many couples had little option other than to sell their illegitimate children off for medical experiments, or contribute an edition to the popular 'honeymooners' series of adult videos to recover some of the money spent on the wedding.
... tomorrow, in the final installment of this post, find out how you can have an original and memorable wedding that doesn't have to break the bank!
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
We didn't worry about a GREEN one, some things were a blessing in those days.
Keep up the good work, but didn't HER family provide the cow, whereas the guy pays for the ring, but then again, thinking how mean and otherwise deficient a lot of males are now, perhaps that is no longer the case, she may well put it on her credit card, rather than suffer the humiliation of not having one.
Just keep the thought up.
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
We didn't worry about a GREEN one, some things were a blessing in those days.
Keep up the good work, but didn't HER family provide the cow, whereas the guy pays for the ring, but then again, thinking how mean and otherwise deficient a lot of males are now, perhaps that is no longer the case, she may well put it on her credit card, rather than suffer the humiliation of not having one.
Just keep the thought up.
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
We didn't worry about a GREEN one, some things were a blessing in those days.
Keep up the good work, but didn't HER family provide the cow, whereas the guy pays for the ring, but then again, thinking how mean and otherwise deficient a lot of males are now, perhaps that is no longer the case, she may well put it on her credit card, rather than suffer the humiliation of not having one.
Just keep the thought up.